Getting Rid of Negativity (Day 2 of Fast)

We all have that one person or people in our lives that are consumed drama, and they call you day in and day out to flood you with their drama. No matter how many times you give them advice to fix the situation, they never take heed to it and end up in the same type of drama. When they are back in the mess they then want to call you all over again for advice that you give again and again. That is what I like to call a negativity cycle that is going nowhere.
  I used to talk to a lot of so called "friends" that would only call me to dump their problems on me. I would give them solutions to fix their personal problems which they would not listen to, and would be calling me a month later to dump it on me again. It hurts a lot when you have real deep problems of your own that you want to share with someone, but that person is not there to hear you out. It really hurts when you do get the person to listen and they can say is "I don't know what to tell you" or "Sorry to hear that".
  I decided to get rid of the drama and negativity in my life. For one, I no longer answer the phone for people who loves to call me to consume me with their negativity and drama. I have my own burdens to carry, and I just do not have room for someone else's troubles that they are not trying to get rid of themselves. I am now realizing that my time is very valuable.
   I no really care what people think or say about me. The false, mean, things family members and so called friends used to say about me bothered me to no end. I know they are not true, I know what kind of person I am and I don't have to explain myself to anyone. I have now come to terms that the battle is not mine, it is the Lord's.
  This fast is really helping me get closer to God and in the process I am realizing what this spiritual walk is really all about. Thank you, God. Pray for me and I will pray for you.

Love You So Much - Juanita Bynum feat. Myron Williams

Shake Us Again - Juanita Bynum

30 Day No Twitter or Facebook Fast. (Day 1)

Log out. Saturday I God spoke to me and told me that the reason why I am not getting as close to Him as I should is because of  constant use of Facebook and Twitter. He is right. So right then and there, I logged out. If people really need to contact me on facebook. My email, IM, and phone number is in my profile.
  Sunday was day one, and I got a lot of things done. First of all, I got up early in the morning for church. I visited a sister in Christ church, and they were very nice, the welcoming was warm. I also caught up with reading and studying the bible.
  Around 6:30pm I became sleepy and went to bed early. I slept like a baby. No traces of insomnia at all. I wrote a list of things to do during my thirty day fast from these two social networks. Mind you, this is just day one of the fast and I almost finished all of my assignments that are due in the future, early.
  I am so proud of myself for taking this step. I know after these thirty days are up I will not even want to access Twitter and Facebook anymore. Pray for me, and I will pray for you.
 

Writer's Block (When you truly do things for God)

I prayed and asked God to give me a title and subject to write my next book on. I told Him that I wanted to write a book that will give Him nothing but praise, one that will bless His name. I attempted to start on it last weekend, but my mind drew a blank. I kept starting paragraphs and deleting them to the point where I tried to brainstorm and I could not even think. 

  I prayed on it again, still tried to start my new book and my mind went blank again. I became a little worried because I hardly ever experienced writer's block. That's when the Lord really spoke to me. I had to be real honest with myself about what I was really writing the book for.

  See, when we do things truly for God and not ourselves, that is blessing Him and bringing Him glory. But when we do good things for our own selfish gain, we are not really doing the Lord's work. I wanted to write a book to bring God glory, and to uplift and encourage each other, but I was moreso doing it because I wanted a big royalty check. 

   Yes. I am going to be honest and a woman about mine. God had to check me, and I had to check myself as well because if I am going to do something in His name, I need to do it the right way. He told me "You are not doing this solely for me, but you are doing this for your own selfish gain." Truth hurts.  I didn't realize it until I was scratching my head wondering how on earth did I get writer's block. 

   I really love God. He no longer allows me to play myself anymore. I appreciate Him for that and I give Him all the praise for this. There are so many people out here that are supposed to be  doing good works for Christ but they're only doing it to get acceptance from people, money, or fame. It is really sad because these people are very weak. 

 I have faith that Christ will put something wonderful to write about in my heart to lead people to Christ. Pray for me and I will definitely pray for you.  

Young, Fly, and Celibate

Ok. So....I'm in my twenties, I'm in college, and I see fine guys walking on campus, downtown, in the mall, everywhere. I am going to admit, my mind wanders when I see those biceps, those lips, those eyes, beards.....Ok..Where was I? I would be lying if I said that the celibate part of walking with Christ is easy. It is not easy at all, in any sense of the word. But if I am going to walk this walk with Christ I must sacrifice my flesh. "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral" (Hebrews 13:4).
  Sometimes I get kind of envious of other people because they get their freak on and I know if I do, I will feel so horrible and convicted. But for real I don't want a man touching me that is not ordained to. His spirit will connect with my spirit and I have enough baggage of my own that is being processed out to be carrying someone else's.
  I keep myself busy so I won't think about sex, and when I do get sexual desires I pick up the bible and read it, or study homework. Sometimes it gets so strong I have to get down on my knees and pray. I am just keeping it real because I know I am not the only one out here dealing with this. We must be honest with ourselves about this. Simply, there are times when we want to make a phone call in the middle of the night to someone to comfort us.
  Yes, it seems like everybody is in a relationship. Everybody is posting statuses on social networks on their "boo". See! This is why we need to not spend so much time on these social networks! However, for those of us who are single don't fret on the fact that you don't have a man/woman because this is the time that you can get so much done. When I learned this, I accomplished so many positive goals in my life. 
  I used to wonder why I didn't have a man or why am I not married yet, and everybody else are getting married, having children. I truly thought something was wrong with me, that I was an oddball, or maybe I needed to change my physical appearance. There is absolutely nothing wrong with me or anyone who is walking in Christ and not yet in a relationship. Please hold this message dear to your heart. Pray for me and I will definitely pray for you. 
  

Fasting (The hardest thing)

The hardest thing I seem to do is fast. I tried fasting from sweets and it lasted only a week. I tried fasting from soft drinks and just drinking water, but that only lasted about three days. Then I tried fasting from food for a certain amount of hours per day, that didnt work either.
 But then God spoke to me and told me that I wasn't to fast from certain food and drink items, but I was to fast from pleasurable things that I felt I needed to use daily. He told me in plain english that I needed to fast from all the social networking sites I use *Insert sad face here* . Yep, this is true. I am on facebook and twitter far too much.
  When I learned that I needed to fast from these things, I immediately tried to look for a substitute to fast from instead. But nope, the Holy Spirit kept tapping me on my shoulder telling me that I needed to fast from social networking sites. The hardest thing to admit is that I am addicted to these sites*Insert sad face here*.
 The first step to recovery is admittance, and I am admitting, that I am addicted to social networking. At first, I made excuses to myself about it. "Noooo, I am not addicted. Twitter and Facebook are so easy to stay connected, I can find out news coverages, new movies that are coming out, what's hot with celebrites, if I need a laugh...blah blah blah". All of these are irrelevant reasons as of why I (or anybody for that matter) need to constantly stay on a social networking site all day, every day, via blackberry or PC.
  So with all of this being said, I am logging out of Facebook and Twitter until the Lord tells me so. It might be never because I really am starting to believe that Facebook is the devil *insert serious face here*. Of course, I am going to share my blog with facebook, and every other site because I want to offer encouragement through my blog. So please pray for me while I fight this fight. And do this fast. Pray for me and I will pray for you.

Through the Storms

During this time of year, the devil is in everybody's finances. It seems as though as soon as the holidays turn  the corners, everyone is either losing their jobs or their homes all at once. Me being one of these people in an financial storm, the best thing to do is to fast and pray. Some of you'll are sick and tired of hearing this because at one point, I was sick and tired of hearing it as well. But quiet as it is kept, it is the best thing left to do right now.
  When you have exhausted all of your resources, or have done all that you can, the overwhelming feeling you get when nothing is coming through is enough to pull you to your knees. I know it has pulled me to mine.
  I am slowly learning day by day, that God loves His children and He will not allow us to go without. "So don't worry about these things, saying "What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear? These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your Heavenly Father already knows all of your needs. Seek the kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need" (Matt. 6:31-34).
  I used to worry myself about these things to the point where I would lose sleep at night. I would lose so much sleep that I got physically sick, almost to the point of being hospitalized. Just recently God blessed me with a prayer partner and a new Sister in Christ in my area who really had to break it down and tell me that I needed to read my bible daily. Not just read it, but meditate by it and study it.
  Faith is what I have been lacking lately and I try to fix things myself, only for it to not work out and me ending up sad, depressed and angry. But right now I am learning slowly but surely that Jesus is the only way. For those in the midst of a storm right now, financial and/or otherwise I will definitely pray for you and you pray for me.

Desperate 4 U - Greg O'Quin & iPraize

This is my ultimate favorite sonnnnnnnng!!! This does so much to me!!!

Accountability

Hello Everyone. I started this blog because it was time for change in my life. I had to learn the hard way, that I must take accountability and responsibility for my own actions. Sadly, it that didn't hit home until after I published my first book, which was erotica.
  Granted, people purchased it, they loved it, they wanted more but I did not have peace. Everytime someone purchased my book, I felt horrible and the conviction was heavy on my heart. Once you give your life to Christ, when you feel conviction it is very painful. Not to point out the fact that when I was writing the book I felt physically weak, distracted, and overwhelmed. I questioned myself twice before publishing it, but published it anyway.
   It sold, then I used it as a marketing strategy which worked because it had people on edge for my next book. I gave out hundreds of copies for free, word of mouth got to bloggers who wanted the book as well.
   A sister of Christ told me about a book she purchased for me called "How to Defeat Satan". The book just pulled me in and I just couldn't believe what I read. I instantly felt emberassment and intense conviction about not only the book I had published but my behavior as well. It came to me that my behavior and my writing was unacceptable and if I love God, I need to honor Him and do things according to His will.
  This is what it is all about and it is time for me to stop being rebellious, and take my life serious.