Dear Phylicia...

Dear Phylicia,

The only way I have ever been able to fully express myself emotionally is by writing. I have shed many tears since I have heard the news of your death but I still do not feel as though I have released anything. I have met you many times in passing because we both know Norfolk is but so big and I have seen you time and time again while visiting family members and mutual friends. We have liked each other's statuses on facebook and swapped many comments throughout the years. But my heart is still broken into pieces because I just knew deep within my heart something was coming and it was something good. I was waiting on the day when the news would say you were found safe and sound. 4,058 times infinity prayers were being lifted up day by day, hour after hour, minute by minute, second by second. It hurts, it hurts bad. I blamed myself all night long because I thought maybe if I would have reached out to a major news crew, this would have been prevented. If I would have wrote a letter to Nancy Grace, MSNBC, John Walsh, anybody, this would have been prevented.
  When the Lord said that Joy comes in the morning, boy was He telling the truth. Although I woke up twice during the night, I dreamed that justice was served and you were happy. Surrounded in everlasting happiness and peace for an eternity. Children of God do not die they have everlasting life in a place much better than where we are on earth. Your beautiful, wonderful son is surrounded by more love than he could ever ask for. He doesnt have to worry about anything ever again. But I said, "You are worth more than any amount of money. No amount of money could ever bring you back to your family or friends". That's what I keep telling myself. I look at the mugshot  of the man who took you away from your family and your son. I get so angry and I even thought about writing him a letter and explaining to him the detriment of what he has done. The injuries, the pain, the hurt, the tears and the sorrow because he could not possibly understand this. I made up my mind to write this person there is no way in hell he could no what he did to people not just to you, not just to the people in the city of Norfolk, the whole Hampton Roads, but all across America. He could not possibly understand what he did to his own two children when he took their mother away.
   But the holy spirit spoke to my heart and said that I dont know what this man knows and that we must forgive to move on. If we don't forgive him then he will win. It is like allowing him to hurt us day in and day out over and over again. I was told that you have already forgiven him which is why you are in perfect peace right this very minute. You left footprints on everyone's heart and you will never be forgotten. So I promise that I will work on forgiving this man.
   However, though I will work on forgiving him, I do not wish him death or the death penalty. A thousand deaths will not bring you back to us. Death would be too easy for him. Living day by day and remembering what he did to you, the mother of his children, and countless people that loved you'll is the ultimate punishment for him. 
   I don't have to tell you to rest in peace because I know you are at peace right this very moment. God is my everything and He holds the key to all answers and everything that goes on in this world. Christ is still good to me, to you and to all of us. 

Love,

Tanisha M. Monroe