Dear Kim: My Open Letter to Lil Kim

Dear Kim,

I was twelve years old living in the Jeffrey Wilson Projects in Portsmouth, Virginia. I had just started middle school and BET was the first channel I turned to as soon as I stepped my foot in the door, tossing my book bag across the floor. I had no idea that the beautiful woman dancing on top of the escalator in a floor length fur was the same woman who graced the stage with the Notorious B.I.G and Junior Mafia. I fell in love with you when I saw the "No Time" video. Not your lyrics, because at the age twelve I didn't know anything about sex let alone getting men for their paper. I fell in love with your smile, your confidence, your boldness and the way you held your head up high despite the obstacles that the music industry threw your way.
 As I reached my teen years and from teen years I reached adulthood every album you have released I purchased. Some women listen for the raunchy lyrics that gets them amped up for a night on the town, some women listened to get them ready for a night of passionate sex. But if a true fan listens to your lyrics, they will hear a story behind every song, every lyric, every bar.
 Even though you don't know me from Eve, and you're my bestie in my head, if I am going through a certain problem all I have to do is play an album of yours and I swear you have a song for everything I am and have went through. All the way down to the legal problems I put myself in.
  A lot of people say I can't be a fan of Lil Kim and be a Christian at the same time. But who are they to judge? All I know is that despite your lyrics, outfits, and past transgressions you never cease to tell us how much you love the Lord and you never cease to thank God for every award, every album, every fan He has blessed you with. I love the cool, calm way you react to beef on wax and I just love the way you kept a smile on your face despite the fact you had to do time for a year for something you barely had anything to do with. I love your personality, your kind heart, and your sense of humor.
 When people had something to say about your cosmetic surgeries, I was like so what? Its your money, your life, and lets be real. Half of those people talking all that trash would get a tummy tuck if they had the money. Girl, keep doing you. Keep making your money. I have been a fan since I was twelve years old and I am now pushing thirty. I love you for life.

Love,

T.M

Delicious Reads

Mystic River. Now a motion picture, we all know the books are way better than the movie. This book had me on the edge of my seat. Three boys were friends until a tragic event happend on a lazy afternoon. Years later another tragic event brings these boys together. You won't be able to put the book down until the last page.

Cross. Our favorite detective Alex Cross is back to take on the very psychopath that murdered his beloved wife, Maria.

The Quickie. Homicide Detective Lauren Stillwell catches her husband in the midst of an affair. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. While embarking on a sultry affair of her own, she witnesses and unspeakable crime.

Single in the Summer? Don''t Be Mad

Facebook, which is the social network that hosts the most depressing statuses of single women all across the world, have been showcasing hot acid slinging arguments amongst couples. Again. Tagging the boyfriend's name, his side chick and cursing out all those who decide to put in their ad libs in the comment section. I don't understand why the girlfriend is even mad. If the dog decides to roam away from home, lock your door, throw away the key and do you. The weather is great, the nights are younger, out of towners are cuter, its time to do you. Which is what I have always done.
 I haven't been in a serious relationship in over four years but I have been in some..uh..Situations. Situations that are so tight that I have found myself confused when meeting a new potential and hurt when someone's feelings are not the same. But I have always bounced back especially when someone comes along that makes me forget about the last one. Am I saying to become a full fledge hot summer jump off? No. Though I don't practice premarital sex, I don't hate on the next single lady who is all about getting hers with no strings attached. However, I am against single ladies who get theirs with no strings attached and not protect themselves. But do you have to give it up to have fun in the sun? No. You can go out to a night club get your dance on and not go home with anyone. Is there a crime in smiling at the cute chocolate brother staring at you from across the cafe? Nope. Not only that but you can have multiple crushes on people and not feel bad.
 My PTSD and this little one pill a day doesn't stop my shine from living a regular life that I lived before I started the medication. A lot of women get self conscious with meeting new people because they feel as though they have to tell someone off the back that they have a mental illness, a physical illness...NOT. You're not marrying the guy, or planning to have children with him so don't let your illness stop you from having fun. If you are the chick that just want to get hers and not worry about the extra stuff just protect yourself from pregnancy and disease.

Music Raves: Azealia Banks, Lil Kim's Return of the Queen Tour, and Erykah Badu

Ok...Where do I began...Her fashion is horrible, her music is horrible, her hair is horrible, her sense of style is horrible, her attitude is horrible. Her album is titled...1991? I'm guessing that's the year this wannabe half-fish was born? Don't know..Don't care. I like to give everyone a chance by listening to their music and I did listen to her music. Its horrible...Next!

My Lady. Not only does she have a hot, girly, sexy, sassy tour bus and she rocks nothing but expensive designer, sexy clothes on stage. She is bringing the heat with a comeback tour that Nicki Minaj shaking in her synthetic green wig. Fans old and new are putting in requests for her to touch down in their city, and tickets are being sold out everywhere. Yall better stop sleeping on your Queen.

Erykah Badu collaborated with the group "The Flaming Lips" and released a controversial video that consisted of her being in the nude (sources are saying it is a body double) covered in gold glitter, blood, and um..lets just say bodily fluids. Fans, bloggers, and gossip columnists are in an uproar some even saying that Ms.Badu has lost her mind. In my opinion, Erykah has always been unique, creative, and goes over the top to get her point across. I watched the video and though I wasn't shocked I was a bit surprised by the blood and bodily fluids that were covering the naked body. I have always been a fan of Erykah Badu and I tell the truth. It was a little over the top.

Good Dreams: Is It My Meds?

As you'll know I have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder due to me being a survivor of child abuse. My PTSD consists of horrific nightmares, a bad phobia of the dark, flashbacks, and anxiety. The medicine that I am on, which is a little pill I take once a day early in the morning is what stabilizes it. Does it work? Yes. Like a charm. My flashbacks has decreased from three times a day to well, I haven't had one yet since I started taking my medication a month ago. I still can't sleep in the dark or be in dark places for a long time or I'll have an anxiety attack, but a night light helps me sleep at night. But what I really like is that my horrific nightmares have been replaced with good dreams. I am having dreams so good I don't even want to wake up. I try to force myself back to sleep so the dream could continue. One dream I was crying and praising God and I was so overwhelmed with happiness that I woke up with a gospel song in my head that I just thought of!!! Another dream I had was of a dark skinned man with dreads sitting on a chair singing in this angelic voice. The voice was so beautiful, the very next night I prayed for God to please give me the dream again. I believe my medication is whats helping me with getting rid of the horrific nightmares but I also believe  God is responsible for the wonderful dreams.
  I find myself thinking with a much clearer head and I can handle myself in much stressful situations. I pray a lot constantly throughout the day and night which builds my spiritual strength. Am I reliant on this medication? Not really. This medication helps me a lot along with the wonderful support system I have along with it. I no longer have insomnia and stay up half the night reading, looking at the ceiling, or browsing the web.  I feel much better in the morning and not so tired and irritable. I have my sleep back!! Praise GOD!!!

The Best To Ever Do It: My Sheroes

Danielle Steele. Still no one has beat her record for the many books she has had on NY Times Best Selling list at one time. The fact that she writes multiple books at one time makes her my shero. She is so beautiful, talented and oh so mysterious. Danielle is such an incredibly private person that she doesn't do book signings or interviews. Did I mention over half of her books were prime time movies??

Whitney Houston. Aka Nippy Aka "The Voice". This queen will forever reign in my heart as the true first lady of Pop. Everything she touched turned to gold and every project she has ever tried she mastered. Her songs "I look to you" and "I didn't know my own strength" got me through the recent tough times.

Sade. The true epitome of class, style and grace. Miss Adu has never been in tabloids, gossip blogs or had her name raked in mud. Her voice is like smooth, hot butter and her music gives me the flame I need to write.

Lil'Kim. This chick has got me through breakups, back stabbing friends, losses, and financial problems. She is the first chick to let me know to first handle my business then comes the miscellaneous stuff. Her lyrics taught me to hold my head up high no matter what the obstacles are.

Beverly Johnson. The first African American woman to grace the cover of "Vogue" magazine. Not to mention her own cosmetics line, wig line, weave line, and her daughter is a beautiful proud curvy model. Beverly showcases her wonderful personality on her new reality tv show which keeps it real on the trials and tribulations of mother/daughter relationships. She is also married to the very handsome, very talented David Bowie.

Michelle Obama. She's tall. She's beautiful. She's displays public affection towards her hubby and her children. She worksout. She eats healthy. She has arms that make's Angela Basset's look flabby. You guessed it. Our FLOTUS. Mrs.O is so bold and beautiful she admits to being a Beyonce stan.

Reasons To Say No: Stop Being A Welcome Mat

Yesterday, during my overpriced lunch of tuna fish, baked lays and a peanut butter chocolate chip vegan cookie I was reading the July issue of Cosmopolitan. Demi Lovato was on the cover looking radiant and although I think  Cosmopolitan does not put enough Sistas on the cover of their magazine, they do have some pretty good content. One of the guest columnist was a therapist who written an article on fifteen reasons for just saying the word "No" when someone asks you for a particular favor, a question, or invites you to an event that you normally wouldn't be caught dead in. I have never had a problem with saying the word "No".  There was a time when I used to put an expletive in front of the word "No", but I am no longer that bad girl. She is suppressed deep down inside me hopefully to never come out again.

 But I do know lots of people who have a problem with saying the word "No" and often find themselves in miserable situations, places where they are miserable, and around miserable people. But really makes me wince, is when people rack their brain to make up lies about why they can't do what someone asks of them. *Sigh* Why lie? Last time I checked you were an adult, these people were not your parents, don't pay your bills, don't even offer you a stick of gum, and barely calls you to see if your're alive unless they need you for something. So here are MY reasons for saying the word "No".

Babysitting. Ok, so a family member asked you to babysit one time, you had nothing else better to do but sit at home and fold your laundry. It wouldn't hurt to babysit your little cousin CeCe and play a game of "Candy Land" while her mother goes to Club Dream for Ladies' Night. But should it become a weekend ritual to the point where she is calling your phone TELLING you what time she's dropping little CeCe off on Friday and what time she will be picking her up on Sunday? I think not. If you're single with no children, then I know you definitely have plans you want to create or keep. Its time to put your foot down.

Outings With Co-workers. I have never been a fan of going out with my peers from my job. Especially with supervisors. When supervisors start talking all that mess about how they are so proud of the team and want to treat them out to a weekend outing, its a set up. If it is not on company lunch time, I would say "No." First of all I have heard and witnessed too many horror stories of Supervisors taking their employees to bars, happy hour, resorts, buying rounds of drinks until they get sloppy drink and start their confessionals, for them to be fired first thing Monday morning. Just Say No.

Facebook Invites. Some people just do not need to have your facebook. Especially people who love to gossip and take simple three word statuses and mold them into indirect insults that they assume are about them. Last time I checked, facebook was for old high school friends to reconnect not for matchmaking, Co-worker meet ups or to promote music. In other words if a Nosy Rosy or Gossip Goose or somebody who you just can't stand adds you on facebook, just say no. Or better yet click "Decline".

The Request For Your Phone Number. I see this happen too many times. I have even done it a few times just to get out of the situation. When a guy asks for my number, I would either give him the wrong one, lie and tell him I have a man, or just give it to him and just not answer the phone. Or the chick who talks my ear off who requests my phone number to talk my ear off some more. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings so I just give her the phone number and ignore her calls. Why waste the energy when you can just say no? First of all it is too time consuming to think of seven random digits to belt out to the guy. Second of all, it is too mind boggling to try to remember which phone number is the chick who is up to her elbows in drama and wants to dump it on you as if you're her therapist. Just say no.

Crashing On Your Couch. Not crashing on your couch for the night to sleep off the alcohol until morning. But the crashing on your couch until they find another apartment or a job rather. Been there. Done that. And I will never ever in my life do it again. First of all, everybody and their parents have crashed not just on my couch, but in my second bedroom of my bachelorette pad I had on the Peninsula. People were messy, late on their half of the rent, and when the shoe was on the other foot ask me if they lent me at least a chair to crash on? Yeah. Take my advice and say no.

These are just a few reasons to just say no, without giving reasons as to why you said no. You are your own woman. Let's hear you roar!!!!