Reasons To Say No: Stop Being A Welcome Mat

Yesterday, during my overpriced lunch of tuna fish, baked lays and a peanut butter chocolate chip vegan cookie I was reading the July issue of Cosmopolitan. Demi Lovato was on the cover looking radiant and although I think  Cosmopolitan does not put enough Sistas on the cover of their magazine, they do have some pretty good content. One of the guest columnist was a therapist who written an article on fifteen reasons for just saying the word "No" when someone asks you for a particular favor, a question, or invites you to an event that you normally wouldn't be caught dead in. I have never had a problem with saying the word "No".  There was a time when I used to put an expletive in front of the word "No", but I am no longer that bad girl. She is suppressed deep down inside me hopefully to never come out again.

 But I do know lots of people who have a problem with saying the word "No" and often find themselves in miserable situations, places where they are miserable, and around miserable people. But really makes me wince, is when people rack their brain to make up lies about why they can't do what someone asks of them. *Sigh* Why lie? Last time I checked you were an adult, these people were not your parents, don't pay your bills, don't even offer you a stick of gum, and barely calls you to see if your're alive unless they need you for something. So here are MY reasons for saying the word "No".

Babysitting. Ok, so a family member asked you to babysit one time, you had nothing else better to do but sit at home and fold your laundry. It wouldn't hurt to babysit your little cousin CeCe and play a game of "Candy Land" while her mother goes to Club Dream for Ladies' Night. But should it become a weekend ritual to the point where she is calling your phone TELLING you what time she's dropping little CeCe off on Friday and what time she will be picking her up on Sunday? I think not. If you're single with no children, then I know you definitely have plans you want to create or keep. Its time to put your foot down.

Outings With Co-workers. I have never been a fan of going out with my peers from my job. Especially with supervisors. When supervisors start talking all that mess about how they are so proud of the team and want to treat them out to a weekend outing, its a set up. If it is not on company lunch time, I would say "No." First of all I have heard and witnessed too many horror stories of Supervisors taking their employees to bars, happy hour, resorts, buying rounds of drinks until they get sloppy drink and start their confessionals, for them to be fired first thing Monday morning. Just Say No.

Facebook Invites. Some people just do not need to have your facebook. Especially people who love to gossip and take simple three word statuses and mold them into indirect insults that they assume are about them. Last time I checked, facebook was for old high school friends to reconnect not for matchmaking, Co-worker meet ups or to promote music. In other words if a Nosy Rosy or Gossip Goose or somebody who you just can't stand adds you on facebook, just say no. Or better yet click "Decline".

The Request For Your Phone Number. I see this happen too many times. I have even done it a few times just to get out of the situation. When a guy asks for my number, I would either give him the wrong one, lie and tell him I have a man, or just give it to him and just not answer the phone. Or the chick who talks my ear off who requests my phone number to talk my ear off some more. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings so I just give her the phone number and ignore her calls. Why waste the energy when you can just say no? First of all it is too time consuming to think of seven random digits to belt out to the guy. Second of all, it is too mind boggling to try to remember which phone number is the chick who is up to her elbows in drama and wants to dump it on you as if you're her therapist. Just say no.

Crashing On Your Couch. Not crashing on your couch for the night to sleep off the alcohol until morning. But the crashing on your couch until they find another apartment or a job rather. Been there. Done that. And I will never ever in my life do it again. First of all, everybody and their parents have crashed not just on my couch, but in my second bedroom of my bachelorette pad I had on the Peninsula. People were messy, late on their half of the rent, and when the shoe was on the other foot ask me if they lent me at least a chair to crash on? Yeah. Take my advice and say no.

These are just a few reasons to just say no, without giving reasons as to why you said no. You are your own woman. Let's hear you roar!!!!