Monday, January 23, 2012

Leaning on God, When an old flame apologizes, Exhaustion

So today, I went to speak with my school counselor and her office was closed. So I have to try back tomorrow to see if she has anymore resources for me. I filled out an application for a position at Applebees and Chili's before my last class. Tomorrow I have to get up really early to go to the Chrysler Museum of Art and fill out an app there. I hope someone calls me back as soon as possible.
I am now officially leaning on God and reading the bible for comfort. Today that devotional by Joyce Meyers really gave me comfort, too. I feel more energetic than I did the last few days. I also have learned that I have to pray persistently and I can't give up because I don't see change in my time. Process is hard, though. Mad hard.
  Tonight on the train, on my way home, I received an inbox message on my facebook. It was a guy I went to high school with who treated me very unkind when we were together. After we separated, when he got a new girlfriend,he apologized to me about how he treated me, and wanted to be friends. I accepted his friendship for him to tell me that his girlfriend doesn't approve of this friendship and he couldn't speak to me anymore. Every other year, whenever this dude would get a girlfriend he would find some way to contact me, apologize to me, ask my friendship and cut me off again.
This time he tells me he's married, with a daughter and he just had to apologize to me because now he has a wife and child and wants to close the chapter to his dark pasts and now he's a true man of God that needs to prove his integrity. Did I believe him? No. Because due to the cycle he started, he has no credibility and he's an habitual liar. Do I forgive him? Oh absolutely. Did I read him like he was on hooked on phonics? Sure did.
I explained to him his little pathetic cycle, I pointed out how everytime he has a new girlfriend or fiance he feels the need to contact me out of guilt. Why? Is it because he wants me to know he's married now? Or because he has a daughter now? You know he denied it. But guess what? I forgive him, I'm happy for him, but honestly what does his life have to do with me? Nothing.
  Aside from that I'm just exhausted. I ate some oriental flavored ramen noodles for dinner and they were good. I also have a headache so I'm going to sit in the tub and relax. Then I'm going to study and sleep.

Ciao!

No comments:

Post a Comment