I Am An Angry Black Woman

Its been a minute since I have took the time out to talk about myself. With all this tragedy going on around me, work and with school I just have not had time. Although, I do have a therapist that I talk and vent to, I am still an angry black woman. I am so angry at the things that people have done to me this past year. I'm so angry at the shit that I have put up with and its driving me crazy. People are living in my head rent free and I am ready to evict them. I want these people out of my life officially in the year 2013. I talk to my therapist about a lot of the shit I am angry about and she listens and give great advice. But I still have vengeance on my heart and I often ask myself if given the chance would I exact revenge on people. I honestly wouldn't because all this hate is tiring me out and what's really killing me is that I am an honest person and I want to get what I have to say off my chest. I have always been open and honest with people. I try to spare people feelings until I am about to explode and I can't deal with it anymore. But when I get to that point people get their damn feelings hurt and think I'm fucking crazy for spazzing the fuck out.
  I often ask myself why do the good die young and yet trifling, no good, motherfuckers are still walking this damn earth. This sound harsh but I wish my Grandmother who raised me could trade places with my mother, the one who abused me. My grandmother would be living and consuming me with her love and my mother who isn't capable of loving anyone would be nothing more than a pile of ashes. Life is not fair at all and God did give us hope and the holy spirit he is also raining blessings down on me. But I am sick of people getting away with doing foul shit to me.
 Just like this son of a bitch who had everybody thinking I'm the crazy one for sending off those emails. Oh. So people really believed I did that shit for no reason? Yeah ok. I'm not even going to get into the details. Does it make you feel good that I had to get my abusive mother to take me all the way to court 2 1/2 hours away? Does it make you feel good to know that she pushed me out of her car and left me out there? I guess you got your revenge. It hurts that I lose sleep at night hating this particular person. I hate him so much I dream about him. Whats really pathetic is that I lose sleep at night and yet he is enjoying life. I want his ass to suffer. But we all want what we can't have so I just say fuck it.
 Maybe I feel this way because I still haven't cried about all the shit I went through this past Winter/Spring. I feel like if I cry then they will win and they have got to me. I don't want them to get to me I want them to suffer. Maybe I need to have a good cry. What do you think?

Dear Phylicia...

Dear Phylicia,

The only way I have ever been able to fully express myself emotionally is by writing. I have shed many tears since I have heard the news of your death but I still do not feel as though I have released anything. I have met you many times in passing because we both know Norfolk is but so big and I have seen you time and time again while visiting family members and mutual friends. We have liked each other's statuses on facebook and swapped many comments throughout the years. But my heart is still broken into pieces because I just knew deep within my heart something was coming and it was something good. I was waiting on the day when the news would say you were found safe and sound. 4,058 times infinity prayers were being lifted up day by day, hour after hour, minute by minute, second by second. It hurts, it hurts bad. I blamed myself all night long because I thought maybe if I would have reached out to a major news crew, this would have been prevented. If I would have wrote a letter to Nancy Grace, MSNBC, John Walsh, anybody, this would have been prevented.
  When the Lord said that Joy comes in the morning, boy was He telling the truth. Although I woke up twice during the night, I dreamed that justice was served and you were happy. Surrounded in everlasting happiness and peace for an eternity. Children of God do not die they have everlasting life in a place much better than where we are on earth. Your beautiful, wonderful son is surrounded by more love than he could ever ask for. He doesnt have to worry about anything ever again. But I said, "You are worth more than any amount of money. No amount of money could ever bring you back to your family or friends". That's what I keep telling myself. I look at the mugshot  of the man who took you away from your family and your son. I get so angry and I even thought about writing him a letter and explaining to him the detriment of what he has done. The injuries, the pain, the hurt, the tears and the sorrow because he could not possibly understand this. I made up my mind to write this person there is no way in hell he could no what he did to people not just to you, not just to the people in the city of Norfolk, the whole Hampton Roads, but all across America. He could not possibly understand what he did to his own two children when he took their mother away.
   But the holy spirit spoke to my heart and said that I dont know what this man knows and that we must forgive to move on. If we don't forgive him then he will win. It is like allowing him to hurt us day in and day out over and over again. I was told that you have already forgiven him which is why you are in perfect peace right this very minute. You left footprints on everyone's heart and you will never be forgotten. So I promise that I will work on forgiving this man.
   However, though I will work on forgiving him, I do not wish him death or the death penalty. A thousand deaths will not bring you back to us. Death would be too easy for him. Living day by day and remembering what he did to you, the mother of his children, and countless people that loved you'll is the ultimate punishment for him. 
   I don't have to tell you to rest in peace because I know you are at peace right this very moment. God is my everything and He holds the key to all answers and everything that goes on in this world. Christ is still good to me, to you and to all of us. 

Love,

Tanisha M. Monroe
 

Reading Self-Help ebooks, Scriptures to keep my sanity, and Glamming up

Unfortunately I am still spreading awareness about Phylicia Robinson a girl from my city who is still missing almost a month later. Smh..I am praying daily for her. It is like she vanished without a trace.

 I have been reading a lot of self-help lately to keep me on my toes. Topical bible scriptures from my youversion bible app and I downloaded this free self-esteem wellness book called "The Champagne Diet". Basically about toasting to at least one accomplishment you've made with a glass of champagne. Why? Because it boosts your self-esteem, it has low calories and it supposed to make you feel rich. Does it? Yeah after I get a buzz. Anyway, I like the book, the author is a sassy Italian curvy chick who tells it like it is. So there. I love my job, I thank God for it daily. But I have to constantly lock myself in a bathroom stall and pray. Pray so that I won't verbally slap anyone and bring them back down to earth. So I have been reading my bible app to keep me spiritually grounded. I also read my bible app so I won't pull my hair out when it comes to all these exams and studying all this material.

  I decided to glam myself up. Why? Not because I am trying to get a man. I mean, the older I get the more slim the pickings are. I am glamming myself up for myself. Friday I finally went to see the optometrist and got my contact lenses. I can see again!! The world is clear and my beautiful eyes are sparkling. I noticed that several heads have turned and looked twice at me. Yes. I am working it like the rent is due!

   So yes that is what my life has consisted of these last few weeks since I spoke with you all. Pray for me!

Keepin' It Real about Self-Image and Self-Hate

Why do people really get weightloss surgery? Why do people really go on diets? Why do people excessively work out and talk announce it constantly on social network statuses? Why is the trend of lightening skin spreading worldwide? Why are women paying hundreds of dollars for a weave that is so long they can sit on it? Who are we trying to impress? I honestly don't believe that all  people especially women, get weight loss surgery because they want to live healthier. I think they get weight loss surgery because of all of these ads, movies, music videos and magazines showcasing women half naked, scandily clad in lace, leather and tight dresses. Some women want to fit in and they want to be the "It" that every man lusts after. If women really got weight loss surgery because they wanted to be healthy, then they would eat healthy. Instead of posting "sexy" pictures of themselves on instagram stuffing their faces with cake until their intestines reach the limit of bursting.
   Men who post statuses on their social network every single time they go to the gym, don't do it for health. They do it for attention and to get kudos from their female web friends and followers. Either they used to be fat, the lame who couldn't get a date in high school, or he used to be the good boy who lost his girlfriend to the bad boy. The same thing goes for guys who post pics of themselves on social networks with no shirt on, trying to get likes, hearts, retweets or follows. The same thing goes for women who diet. Of course there are some of us who diet because the doctor had to be honest and tell them that they were on the brink of death. So they only had two options, diet or die. But then again there are people like me, who diet because we want to look hot in the latest fashions. You know, wear leggings without a muffin top or an extra gut sticking out, wear a bikini without worrying about extra back rolls bringing on looks of disgust. There is nothing wrong with that. The only thing I can't stand about people, especially women who lose weight after dieting, weight loss surgery, etc. is when they try to act funky with it.
   Lying about what size they are, wearing too small clothes that they are not "ready" for yet, dictating someone else's eating habits, insulting other overweight people. Some people just have to be brought back down to earth.
   Which brings me to women who go bankrupt, broke and homeless to purchase brazilian 30" inch weaves. First of all, women look stupid walking around with a weave down to their ankles. Of course, people are selling it wholesale and in bundles because they know some women are going to purchase it. I researched the cost of a bundle of weave and it is close to over 300 bucks. If these women were smart, they could invest that 300 dollars in good hair products and grow their own hair that long. I just don't get it and I never will. Just like I don't get women who purchase Christian Louboutins aka Red Bottoms. I think you make 30k less you have no business purchasing those expensive shoes. For what? A heel is a heel. A stiletto a stiletto.
   Oh it makes it all the more special because it is painted red on the bottom? Because it has someone's name on it? What is the point? Nobody is really looking on the bottom of your shoe? You can purchase a copy of them in any shoes store for cheap.
  Who are we to impress? We are just mortals. We bleed, work, cry, breath, eat, and relieve ourselves just the same. We are no one to get sick, go broke, and hurt ourselves for. Now it has gotten to the point where dark skinned men and women are bleaching their skin to look like something their not. It is all a cycle of self-hate, no matter how you clean it up or dress it up. I am going to call a thing a thing. Because that is exactly what it is.

Why I am Doing This? So Happy You Asked

Since the news broke that Phylicia Robinson is missing and I created a facebook page to spread the awareness and get the word out, I have been asked the same questions countless times for the past four days. "Why are you doing this?" "How do you know her?" are the two main questions I am getting asked over and over again. So I decided to write a post on this blog explaining why I feel the need to spread awareness. Quite frankly, I am tired of these questions and though I don't find them offensive, I do find them quite annoying.
   Black people as a whole do not get enough media coverage when one of us ends up hurt, missing or murdered under unknown circumstances. I am so tired of seeing missing and hurt African Americans on the news only getting five second slots for coverage. It is not fair, it is not right and no matter how much we complain and boycott, it still has not changed. So when I find out that a young, black woman in my city is missing, yes by all means I want to build as much awareness as possible to get her home safe and sound.
  Are me and Phylicia related? No. Are me and Phylicia best friends? No. Have we ever partied? No. Have I ever met her? Yes. Is she a friend of a friend? Yes. Am I acquainted with her? Yes. Do I think it matters that I don't know  her like that? No. Why? Because she is a human being who people love and are worried about and to see her family and friends on national television upset and going crazy breaks MY heart. I think there is no excuse for me to live in a city that is but so big that I reach out and help in different organizations all the time, to not do something. Because if I was missing and nobody knew where I was, I would want someone to do the same thing for me.
    Why does it matter who I am? Where I am from? Why I am doing this? What gives? If it wasn't for the fact that somebody gave me the bright idea to ask people if they wanted to help search and pass fliers and the word around I would have stayed anonymous. The only reason why I put my number on the page was so that people could have access to fliers and have a safe meeting place. I never asked the media to show up to my place of work. Hell, I was pissed off because they had no right doing that without my permission. And when they did show up, they didnt want to talk about her. They wanted to know about the page I created so it could bring more people around Hampton Roads to access it so they would know what's going on.
   The candlelight vigil was so not my idea. However, I do take responsibility for the reaction because I believe I should not have posted about it in the first place. I just want her found for Christ sake. She doesnt deserve this. Her friends don't deserve this. Her family don't deserve this. Most importantly, her son doesn't deserve this.
  Thank you so much everyone for spreading awareness, for praying and for having her family's back.


Love,


Tanisha M. Monroe

YOUNG LADY, MOTHER AND FRIEND IS MISSING!!

A young lady from Norfolk, Virginia has been missing since late last night. She was last seen in the Ocean View area of Norfolk, Virginia. The police has been notified and made aware of her disappearance. However, we need to gather together as a community and spread awareness everywhere regarding her disappearance. She is not only a former classmate of mine but she is also someone's mother, friend, sister, and daughter. Please, I am pleading with you, if someone out there knows something anything at all please contact the police at 757-648-1148. You can even leave an anonymous tip. Please help us bring Phylicia home safe and sound to her family friends. Thank you so much.

Bandz Don't Make Me Dance, But These Will

Hummus. I love hummus. Hummus will make me dance naked in the middle of central park in December. I love the creamy texture and the different flavors. My fave is Southwest and Red Pepper Olive. a bowl of this with some pita triangles and you are good to go.

I love candy..I will definitely dance for some sweets. I don't know why I have such a severe sweet tooth. I think I get it from my grandmother. Like her, I have to cap my dinner off with a rich delish dessert. I also love chocolate.

Yes. Brian Keene makes me dance. I love his books, his creepy tweets, and his monotone demeanor. He is so creative and I also love his dark sense of humor.

Women's Rights make me dance. We women go through so much in the boardroom, the courtroom, and the kitchen. We work hard at everything we do and we should be treated equal, not stepped on. Anything a man can do, we can do so much better. From building a table to killing a spider.

Yes I am Pro-Choice. The fact that I have the freedom to be Pro-Choice makes me dance. If you want to judge me for being a pro-choice Christian then you are very ignorant. Pro-Choice is not about killing babies, abortions and being cruel. Pro-Choice is about being responsible, using birth control when you know you are not ready financially and emotionally to care for a child. It is my body, my mind and my choice.

Yes. Being natural and free makes me dance. Many people don't understand the natural hair culture so they say ignorant things. I can get my hair wet, sleep on it without tying it up, twist up, wear it out, fluff it, slick it in a bun or wear it in a 'fro. Stop hating on natural hair sisters. If you don't like natural hair that is your right and your opinion just dont wear your hair natural.

Annoying Classroom Peers, My New Story Blog, Sponsoring a Child

So as you know I am in college and in the next two semesters I will be graduating finally. My major is Social Science so I have to take a lot of humanities and Psychology classes. I am taking a Social Psychology class, and just so happens that my favorite professor is teaching it. She is so awesome, patient and very kind. I had her for Psychology 201. Anyway, I love her class she is a very brilliant with teaching but I have very annoying classmates. My classmates are African American and they are very loud and talkative. They are always interrupting my professor with their own personal stories to the point where it causes us to get behind. I found myself very annoyed by it, however I thought it was just me. But today during the last fifteen minutes of class one of my other classmates that sit beside me became so irritated by these interrupting students that she said "I cant take this anymore, we are always behind because of the same people. I am going to talk to her about this." Thats when I knew it wasnt just me. So I emailed my teacher and politely asked her to rectify the situation. Cool.
  Anyway, I am creating a new thematic blog that I am launching on October 1. It is a story blog. October is the month of Halloween so I am going to write short horror stories every week for the month of October. I already have the first story thought out and you are definitely in for a treat. The story blog will be ongoing with a different theme for every month. For example, November and December will of course be holiday themed short stories. So stay tuned!

 I am seriously thinking about sponsoring a child. I told myself that if I am not married by the time I am 30, then I am going to adopt. Why not get the ball going by sponsoring a baby girl. In all honestly, I don't think I will be married by the age of 30. I am just prepared to accept that reality that I may not ever meet that one guy that is for me. I would love to and I am not rushing into it, but I could never settle for less than what I deserve. I simply refuse to do that. So I am going to start researching sponsorship programs. Wish me luck.

For Women to Not Get Pregnant Due to Anal Sex, There are a Lot of Assholes Running Around.

I don't care if you don't like my blog, and I don't care if you get offended. It is my blog and I say what the fuck I want when I want. If I am pissed off and I want to vent then I have every fucking right to do so. Silence is golden and I am going to continue giving it to assholes who mean absolutely nothing to me. However, sometimes that silence builds up to the point where you have to release it some how. So instead of me releasing it to someone in their face and risking jail time for knocking their fucking teeth out, how about I just release it in this blog that way that person will be safe. Got it? Great.
 Let's start off with the Asshole who wrote a blog about liking his four year old son more than his two year old son, because they have more fun and more adventure. Seriously? How the fuck do you dislike a two year old? They're babies for God's sake. They only want to eat, sleep, walk around, put things in their mouths and laugh. They don't understand how to catch a fucking a ball, they don't give a fuck about who won the game last Sunday and they really don't give two fucks about how to shoot a hoop. Then again, your two year old probably doesn't like your stupid ass because you don't get that he would rather run around outside, draw different shapes in many different colors with finger paints, have you read to him, or here is a good idea how about you take your four year old son and your two year old son outside to rake some leaves and have them jump around in them. Of course, you wouldnt think of shit like this because you're just a big asshole who's looking for a protege to raise. I hope your wife kicks you out of the house.

   Let's talk about the asshole who stole my whole entire wardrobe, 8 piece luggage set, my shoe collection, my books, my natural hair products, my phone chargers, my grandmother's pictures, her cancer diary, and whole lot of other shit that was dear to my heart. Bitch, your swag will never match mine no matter how much of my shit you steal, attempt to wear, give away, trash, etc. Youre a nothing ass project gutter rat bitch who could never reach my fucking potential. Your ugly, scrawny, gargoyle looking boyfriend tried to get with me so many times and I told you because you needed to know and you blame me? Of course you do because you are broke, bum ass project bitch who will get nowhere in life. So you gave away my shit...Thats fine.  What goes around comes around and I will just reup more shit. Oh and as far as my grandma's memorabalia...You dont have her ashes and I care about that more than anything.

 Lets talk about the highly religious money hungry asshole who likes to lurk on my facebook statuses. Let me tell you something with your looking ass. Instead of you worried about what the fuck I am doing, how I am doing and where I am doing it, you need to focus on getting your own shit together. You are all about money. You are a lying, manipulative, trifling, conniving bitch. You take advantage of young, naive, girls leeching money off  of them so your fat, yellow, snake ass doesn't have to work. You are nothing but a blood sucking ass leech. And that is all you will ever be. I don't see you...You are invisible to me, you are the scum on the bottom of my motherfucking Aldo pump. Don't try me bitch, post one more subliminal status and I will expose you for the worm you really are.

To the asshole who told lies on me about who I'm sleeping with, where I'm sleeping with them and all these people I am supposedly fucking. Do you have proof that I am fucking any one at all? I have no kids and no diseases oh but lets talk about the fact that your children have five different dads and you don't have not one fucking ring on your finger. If he liked it he should have put a ring on it, right? Well he didnt, so I guess your pussy is grade F trash. You have no life if you sit around all fucking day just pondering who I am fucking, sucking, kissing, and hugging. Please have a stadium of fucking seats and worry about your multiple baby daddies catching up on their child support.

This is MY vent session on MY blog. Don't like it, don't fucking read it. Bye.


  

Misery Loves Company: How I Am Using Silence as a Weapon

The haters are really showing off and showing out these days. It's bad enough that these haters are blood related, but the fact that they are doing deceitful, conniving crap to make ME miserable because they are miserable is what is really sad. I have reached the point in my life where I no longer have the energy to fight with my hands or with the words that could spew from my mouth. I no longer have the energy to even hate these people. Yes. They are now "people" not family, not relatives, not anything to me. I call them people because they are mere humans. Silence is so very golden because I have learned that not every one deserve the gift of hearing me speak from my heart and soul. So I decided to give them silence. They see I don't need them, I don't have to be around them and regardless I am doing fine.
 It is so sad how people will use minor children as a pawn to find out what is going on in my life. Please, as if I am really stupid. I just keep it moving and keep thinking positive because these people are no longer a factor in my life. =)

My Reflections Over the Decade

Thank you for all the birthday love!!! I feel so blessed to see another year and I feel very blessed that I still look exactly the way I look at age of 18. Not many people can say that. But I have good slow aging genes, thank God for that. I have grown over the decade, learning a lot of lessons since I stepped foot into legal adulthood at 18 years of age. I knew then, what I know now..Boy oh boy..Things would be a lot different. Would I change anything? Do I regret anything? Honestly, I must say that I would change some things and make smarter choices. But I don't regret not one thing because it made me the woman I am today. I went from negative to positive, mountain high to river deep, survived severe child abuse, street fights, a car crash but I'm still here. I don't regret any of the decisions I made because it has instilled so much wisdom in me and made me a smarter woman, a more cautious woman.
  I do admit to feeling as though I wish I was doing better at 28 than how I'm doing now. But as I look back on all the things I have gone through, all that I have accomplished, survived, and concquered I think I am doing pretty damn good. It doesn't matter what people think of me, it doesn't matter what people say about me. I am a child of the King that sits high in the clouds and I am where He wants me to be. Praise God.

Enjoying My Life

God has blessed me with a new job I love, a new place I love, and new opportunities. Nothing can stop my happiness right now. I thought that God forgot about me, but boy was I wrong. I am really enjoying my life and myself. I love God for His grace and mercy. I am not a perfect person and I know I have a long way to go, but I am trying my hardest. Things are really looking up for me and I will not let anybody stop my shine. It has been a long road coming and it was painful but it all happend with a purpose. I had to cut a lot of people off; family and friends. But it was something I had to do for my well being. I am no longer dwelling on people and why they do the hurtful, painful, things that they do. It is all about me and the people that love me and have never hurt me. With that being said I am enjoying my life.

Guys From Norfolk..Please Grow Up

*Sigh* I try not to be a stuck up bitch and don't look down my nose at people. I also try to give everybody the benefit of the doubt especially when it comes to men. I know I have extremely high standards and everyone should have high standards when it comes to dating, but its ok to give somebody a chance because nobody is flawless and everybody has their own issues. Being that I am from the city of Norfolk and I am a commuter here in the city of Norfolk, I get approached by men from Norfolk every day.
  I have tried to have an understanding heart when it comes to  Norfolk men because I too was raised in the inner city part. But I just find it sad that guys that I meet who are almost thirty years old have as much baggage as they do. I get approached by men from Norfolk and I try to have a conversation with them, you know, because I feel like everybody deserve a chance. But every conversation that I have had with a guy from Norfolk has been just a combination of ignorance, ratchetness and just coonery. I hate the word "Coon" with a passion, but it is what it is.
  Norfolk guys seem to only care about going to the club, their rap career which is going nowhere, and their slew of baby mamas who attack every chick that comment on their facebook posts. They hang out with their other 25 homeboys who are doing nothing with their lives, sitting around bus stations all day begging for cigarettes and talking about absolutely nothing. Lets talk about how every guy from Norfolk is a successful party promoter. You walk around Norfolk all day long passing out fliers, telling people to come to Club Mansion every Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday night. You flood my facebook inbox with invites telling me to come to Club Dream, you flood my mentions on twitter telling me to come to Club Voodoo and partake in a swimsuit contest and like midnight that night you float pictures of women scandilly clad in bikinis climbing up poles. You don't even have the decency to block their faces out.
   Lets talk about how 95.5% of guys from Norfolk is a rapper. You have been a rapper since you were a freshmen at Booker T. Washington High School. You have been releasing mixtapes forever and you are now thirty and still trying to shop your mixtape around. When do you think a plan B should be set in motion?? Like seriously, when do you suppose you should start working on a promising trade?
  Lets talk about how when you approach me to get to know me you tell me you're hobbies are hanging out with 30 of your homeboys every day, going to the club 4 out of 5 days a week, and you have 6 kids with 5 baby mommas. Then when I tell you about me how I like to read a lot, go to the museum, I like animals, I go to school, I am very active on campus and the community with work you look at me as if I have three heads. Then you come out of your mouth with a bold face lie about how you just came from orientation that day from one of the local universities and you're about to move in to the dorms but then you forgot that you told me you just got out of jail for drug possession that previous day.

  Norfolk guys please grow up. You walk around with your hair nappy, tennis shoes dirty, the ones who do dress fresh to death they are still living at home with their mothers. I can NOT with you guys anymore. I'm done.

Dealing with Stupid People, My New Gig, Please Don't Try Me

I know...I know.. I haven't been writing in my blog the way I normally do. My fault..I apologize...I have a new gig as a writer for an online magazine called "Persuade", check it out here www.PersuadeMagazine.com . I write in the Persuade Tips section representing for the single ladies, whoop whoop! Its a magazine for successful people of all colors and nationalities that I am sure everyone will enjoy.
Anywho! I have been dealing with a lot of ignorant people lately that have been trying my patience. I know I am a very nice person but I turn into an evil witch, once I find out that people are taking my kindness for weakness. Like, do I have "Stupid" on my forehead? I mean please look at my pics that I think are displaying on this site and please comment and tell me if I have stupid on my forehead. I'm trying to really have patience with people but I feel as though people are purposely messing with me...Has anyone ever felt that way?
  I did spazz out on someone last weekend due to somethings that occured which I felt was dead wrong. I didnt put my hands on that person but I really could have body slammed them if it wasn't for the Lord who was on my side and theirs. But I did tell them in a lot of colorful choice language to their face that I didnt appreciate what they did and to never talk to me again. I'm nice to everybody but please don't take my kindness for weakness. Don't try me.

  The worse thing you could ever do is try your hand with me in a negative way. Being that I am a survivor of child abuse and I have dealth with a lot of bull from people who are supposed to protect and care for me I have zero patience for so called friends and strangers who take it upon themselves to try me. If you try me then I will definitely react to whatever it is that you are trying to do to me or against me and it will not be in a pretty way. It seems like I have to warn people every other month not to try me. Maybe I should just not have friends. Maybe I should just stop making friends and just stay to myself before I wind up in prison because someone decided to try me...What do you think?

PEEEENNNNNNNN!!!! ARRRGGHHHHH!!!

Yeah...I don't know if its the heat...Or the side effect of my meds but I have never been so horny in my life. If you don't already know, I lead a very strict celibate lifestyle. I don't plan on having sex until I get married. Easier said in done when there is sex everywhere I go. On tv, in books, on the computer, sexy men walking around with no shirts on showing off their hot muscular bodies....Ok! Ok! I'm back. Its cool. Anyway, don't get it twisted if I want some I can get some. OKAAYYY? But that's not the point. The point is discipline and obeying God. I have to deny self. I must not be weak to temptation and flesh. LOL. But anyway, I feel like a zombie just craving fresh meat. I feel like I can't take!! I need it!!! *Grabs at clothes* ARRRRHHHHHH!! *tears at skin*..LOL..Its not that serious but if the wind blows my way I get turned on. * Looks at hot guy that just walked past my window*.....Anyway...I am praying, asking God for strength which I know he will give me.
   Maybe its because I don't have any potential guys around me that are worth dating let alone looking at. Then I see couple holding hands every where, pregnant women all around me, little babies crawling all over the place. I feel as though I want a man too. But I just can't settle for just anyone and I don't feel comfortable laying down with just any body. I have to watch my body, cuz I'm not just anybody! *Aaliyah voice* I just have to get that off my chest. Maybe I should start a celibacy club or something....Hmmm...

Delicious Summer Reads

Its hot, its hazy, so why not lounge on the beach, in your favorite lounge chair and read a juicy, funny, and suspenseful novel. Here our my picks:



There is a new addition to Author Mary Monroe's "God Don't" series. This one is the last installment, and is supposed to be the most explosive. Grab a corona, your beach towel, and some sunscreen for a hot afternoon read.

Our protagonist Mink Larue is an ex-stripper,  who pays her bills by pulling stunts and cons. After facing serious charges that require her to pay hundreds of thousands in restitution or risk jail time, Miss Larue pulls off her biggest stunt yet. This book  is hot, steamy, funny, and juicy.







Interracial Dating: Don't Be Afraid to Have An Open Mind

Many single African American women are patiently waiting for their beautiful black prince charming. Some of us have been waiting years and often become frustrated due to lack of a few good black men. I don't know about you'll, but I find myself very attracted to white men and men of other races. We should step out of the box more and have an open mind when it comes to dating. I was brought up and raised by an older generation of women from the south that looked down upon interracial dating. I didn't understand it then and I don't understand it now. I was raised to think that if you was to date outside of your race, you were a sell out and did not like being black. I have witnessed women frown their faces up and mumble under their breaths whenever a black man was out holding hands with a white woman. I have never been angry at seeing this. I believe love knows no color.
   Men of other races appreciate black women more than black men do. They take us more seriously, they love us deeper and they are very secure in their manhood. I am finding myself more and more attracted to white men daily, not because of the color of their skin, but because of the way they think. I could go to happy hour just to relax and a white man will sit next to me and we will have the most wonderful conversations and he will offer to refresh my drink. Now if I am out at happy hour and a black man sits next to me, he offers me a drink, he automatically assumes I am going home with him.
  We as black women should really have an open mind and not just date and faun after the beautiful black brother who has horrible social skills and consider maybe going out with the white man who is a perfect gentleman. Just something to think about.

This Heat, No Panty Day (Eww), and PTSD Awareness

It is hotter than a box of stolen checks outside today. It has been hot like this all week long. Humid, hot and just HOT!!! Ok...So you get what I'm saying. This week alone has been like 96 to 100 degrees so I have just been ducking and dodging in and out of air conditioned facilities. I tried to eat outside to enjoy the sun and perhaps turn my complexion a pretty toffee color but it was sooo hot I felt dizzy. We all know when it gets hot, people get ignorant and testy so I try to stay away from people I don't particularly care for. Speaking of the heat, congratulations to the Heat winning the game and Lebron finally winning his first ring.

 The one thing I find sad about the female species is the fact that some of us believe any and everything  we hear. Like No Panty Day. A day that some horny, old, guy who sits in the house looking at porn all day probably made up so women who thirst for attention can post pics of their behinds and their vagina. Like really, ladies? You're going to walk out here in 100 degree heat with no panties on, dripping sweat? 

Oh, not to mention that new strain of STD going around that is incurable that just jumps on exposed genitals nowadays. But you people don't care about that as long as you go with the trend no matter how stupid it sounds. Please put on a pair of cotton panties to absorb disgusting smelly sweat...Oh..And douche while you're at it.

  June is PTSD Awareness Month. Shame on me because I just found out today. Darn. Anyway PTSD is not the end of the world. It can be treated. Trust me. Just stay away from people, places and things that can trigger trauma. It was hard but I had to delete people out of my life that didn't mean me well. But I am seeing now that it was so worth it because I am such peace.



Forgiveness...

............Thats the million dollar question. Would I ever forgive those who I felt have hurt me? I don't know. I know I should forgive but it is hard because I am still pretty much angry and bitter about a lot of things. I was talking to my therapist about forgiveness, and I have to really want to forgive in order to forgive. Its like I have forgiven my abuser before, but then the person hurt me again as an adult. I have dealt with abuse from this person even as an adult and after the last time, I really don't want that person in my life anymore. I am working towards  forgiveness and I am praying for God to soften my heart because I do have a lot of anger in it. I don't want to be bothered by those who have hurt me. I would rather just be surrounded by people who really do love and respect me. Will I ever forgive? Yes. I will forgive them in due time. But right now, I am taking it one day at a time.

Sex Education: Protect Thy Self

I went to a planned parenthood meeting that really taught me a lot. First of all it scared the hell out of me that in my city the statistics for African American women living with HIV is higher than Africa. That really made me just want to keep my legs closed tighter. I know that HIV is a silent killer and it is the highest among African American women but I had no idea that the statistics were so high. I also learned alot about HPV which there is really no way to avoid it due to skin to skin contact. I knew about HPV but I didn't know that much detail about it or how serious it could be. But it is very serious.
The nurse who conducted the meeting passed out condoms, flavored condoms, compact mirror to check ourselves down there and of course the usual ink pens, and chapstick. I took all of the freebies. Although, I decided not to have sex until marriage I would rather have the condoms and not need them, then need them and not have them. So with that being said it doesn't matter what people think, say, or stereotypes, ladies carry your own condoms. That way there is no excuse if the guy doesn't have any condoms. You will be safe, clean, and disease free regardless of the stereotypes with women carrying condoms. Also, guys who say that certain condoms don't fit are lying. The nurse rolled a whole condom on her entire arm and it fit without breaking. So unless his penis is bigger than an adult's arm (which I doubt) than he can fit the condom. So ladies lets bring down this statistic and lets just get rid of this horrible disease.

Irritability and Nightmares

I've been having nightmares for the last two days. I don't know what triggered them but it could have been anything. They come and go every so often. They used to be very frequent but now since I've started my medication they have been less and less. However, I am trying to figure out what triggers them. Sometimes the nightmares are from my past and I wake up very irritated and angry. Sometimes the nightmares are about things that have never happend and I wake up with relief.  Praying before sleep has helped a whole lot being that the nightmares used to be so intense I would be afraid to sleep at night. But with the medication and praying, my nightmares have slacked up a lot.
  I think my anger is what is causing the nightmares I am having of  my past and of certain family members. There is so much I want to say to those who have hurt me but I just don't know how to say it in love. I know I must be the bigger person and not scream or go into a rage. I mean what good what that do? In a perfect world the people who hurt and abuse us would be held responsible for helping us get over the PTSD and pain. But this is not a perfect world so we must push ourself to wellness as well as happiness. Whenever I have a flashback or a nightmare I put myself in a happy place. Imagine myself by the beach, in a park on a warm day, or just pray and meditate. I have also decided to keep a private journal to share with my therapist whenever I have a flashback or a nightmare. But other than this, I am doing pretty much ok. Love ya!

 

People Who Need To Have A Stadium Of Seats

So sick and tired of her rapping about her phat behind, her wet vagina. Please you need to either hang it up or rap about something else. Seek therapy and stop telling people you're in your mid-twenties. You have been in your mid-twenties since I was in my mid-teens when you first came out. Just stop it! If all you have to talk about is using men for money and your female parts just retire already.

Kim Kardashian. You don't like to be considered a whore, but day by day you give us a reason to. You slept with Ray-J and marketed the tape like a whore, then you kept jumping from NFL player to NFL player like a whore. Then you got married marketed the wedding, made a million bucks, got a divorce a month later and now you're trying to play on our intelligence like you and Kanye are really in love with each other. Not to mention, you keep posting corny ass pics of you two in matching Jordans and outfits. Kanye. I am so very disappointed that you would think that your fans are that damn stupid to believe that this isn't a stunt.

Seriously Nicki? You bitch, moan, and complain about how you want to be treated equal in the rap industry but when Rosenburg voices his opinion about your music, you run off crying to Wayne and cancels your segment? Really? As much as you and Drake punk ass throw shots at live concerts at other people, when somebody does it in your face you run off crying and calling hot 97 bitching and complaining. Girl Bye.

Really Flex? You're screaming at the very top of your lungs at Charlemagne on air because of some tweets that were posted on twitter? You're so upset you can't even get the words out. I could barely understand what you were saying because you're voice became so high pitched due to being so upset about some tweets. Seriously? Then you took the time to go digging up the man's dirt, and dirt about his parents to air him out. Men don't do that.

Seriously Charlene? I mean we all know you're a gossip and love to talk about people. You can't help it. You were Wendy Williams's personal assistant, you can't help it. Just keep Kim's name out of your mouth. She MIGHT hire you to be on her team. 

The Music Industry is Full of Clowns

All weekend long Funkmaster Flex and Charlene the god or whatever the hell his name is have been going at it like two project hood rats. They were airing out dirt on each other like a bunch of teen girls with nothing else better to do. They're both a bunch of punks anyway flooding my and everybody else's timeline with gossip links. When did D.J's become gossip bloggers? These two wasted 72 hours talking trash about each other, airing out information we all could give a f*&k about. I never liked Charlene the god's ass because of the way he and that amazon Wendy Williams constantly gossiped and aired out lies about people. And he can't seem to keep Kim's name out of his damn mouth. Who the f&%k has time to sit in a radio station all day for hours and just talk about people?

  Flex is a fu&%ing thirst bucket anyway, every other article in "In Flex We Trust" is about a naked tramp video whore. He's yelling on the radio like a damn bangee about some he said/she said that was said on twitter. If that isn't the most female, stupid, punk ass sh&t. I can barely even understand what the hell he's saying because he's crying and screaming on air. 

 Now this morning, Chris Brown is under fire because he confronted Drake about something that he was supposed to have tweeted about him. You know what? You'll are a bunch of fu&%ing queens. The contestants on RuPaul's Drag Race act more man than then all the men in the industry right now. Seriously? You confront someone backstage during a concert over a stupid ass tweet? Yet, you people wonder why your albums flop. Instead of focusing on good quality music, you too busy wondering what he or she said about you and why.

  Young Money is like a damn prepaid cell phone service. They are signing any and everybody who can't seem to make it in the music business. First they signed Bow Wow, who said something about being on tour but I have yet to see any promo about an album and now they have signed Christina Milian? Really? Christina Milian? She was done at "Dip It Low".  Then they have all these other miscellaneous rappers on their label that nobody  ever hears or hardly know about because they're only promoting that imbecile Nicki Minaj. 

  But yet and still this society still purchases and supports horrible music by all these people. What about all the good soul artists that never get the attention they deserve? I am so sick and tired of hip-hop and its antics from new comers. Everybody needs to have a stadium of fuc*&ing seats. 

  Then we have Teyana Taylor who just signed to G.O.O.D Music label. For What? What the fu*&k has she contributed to hip-hop except for covers and random ass mixtapes? Oh and a photo shoot here and a photo shoot there? You want to know why we don't have good, quality music, or we don't acknowledge the true artists out here? Because we're too busy paying attention to the coon antics of these bubble gum rappers and sensitive ass d.js. Thats why! 

  

But Why?????

Why are all the cute guys taken?

Why are all the cute guys heart broken and don't want a relationship?

Why are all the cultural guys so anal?

Why is it that all hipsters are vegan?

Why do all hipsters think its cool to dress like a homeless person?

Why is it that some african americans who have doctorate degrees think they're so above those who don't?

Why is it that Al Sharpton only supports people that have high profile cases?

Why are people still mad that our president is black?

Why do women who walk around dressed like a whore get angry when I guy approaches them like such?

Why do some men walk around with a bow tie in place of a necktie? Who said that was cute?

Why are people pressing charges on people over tweets?

Why do people literally make time to stalk social network profiles?

Worth the Weight: Art Modeling and Sexy Clothes

So I've lost twenty five pounds. I gag at myself everytime I look in the mirror and gawk at my awesome flat belly. Thank God for giving me will power with this new vegetarian diet because it is soooo paying off. I actually lost weight to have more energy, to be more healthy and to live longer. During my biology class, we learned about fats, lipids, and cholesterol. Yuck! Thats when I really decided to change my diet for the better. Once you start getting well on the inside it starts to shine outside.
  I look so incredibly sexy in size twelve slacks and the fact that I can find slinky sundresses in my size at the thrift store makes me sooo happy. Oh and uh...I am an art model now. Yes. People draw me. Even before I lost the extra poundage artists would ask to draw me and I didn't mind it, it's just that I never got around to it. Being the cultural person that I am I love art, especially paintings that tell a story and make a statement.  Plus I hate wearing clothes anyway, its too hot.

 However, do not think I am going to walk around dressed like Ice T's wife CoCo because my confidence is not THAT high. But I will wear a see through top, a cute little belly shirt, a sexy little bathing suit. Pics coming soon.

Sultry Summer Anthems

The single "4 am" from Melanie Fiona's "The MF Life" gives me MY life. I love the music tones and the sexy, silky way she sings the description of feeling deceived and betrayed by the fact that it is 4 am and her man still has yet to come home. This particular song makes me want to lay back in a bubble bath with a glass of white wine, thinking of a love I once knew.

I can always depend on Kanye West to bring hot beats, fire lyrics, and conceited ad libs to start my day. When I'm feeling pretty, attractive and feeling like dancing to a hot beat I can just pop in the single "Mercy".

First Therapy Session, Visit to the Museum

Yesterday, I had my first therapy session with my new therapist. She is over six feet tall, with shoulder length brown hair and a wonderful sense of humor. Her name is Amy. Amy is very understanding, she has allergies as bad as mine and she is so understanding. I told her a lot of things that I had repressed inside and she shared with me a lot of things I could do decrease my anxiety that is caused by my PTSD. The exercises are so therapeutic and relaxing. She also told me that Child Abuse support groups are a very positive way for me to cope as well.
   Before my doctor's appointment I took a visit to the Chrysler Museum of Art to check out the 30 Americans exhibit from African American artists. The different aspects of art that was displayed was absolutely beautiful. There was art made from matchsticks, oil pastels, paintings, and wax. Some were just simple photographs of people taking artistics poses, and some were of  magazine and newspaper clip outs pasted together to make a statement. I had a very good day.

Dear Kim: My Open Letter to Lil Kim

Dear Kim,

I was twelve years old living in the Jeffrey Wilson Projects in Portsmouth, Virginia. I had just started middle school and BET was the first channel I turned to as soon as I stepped my foot in the door, tossing my book bag across the floor. I had no idea that the beautiful woman dancing on top of the escalator in a floor length fur was the same woman who graced the stage with the Notorious B.I.G and Junior Mafia. I fell in love with you when I saw the "No Time" video. Not your lyrics, because at the age twelve I didn't know anything about sex let alone getting men for their paper. I fell in love with your smile, your confidence, your boldness and the way you held your head up high despite the obstacles that the music industry threw your way.
 As I reached my teen years and from teen years I reached adulthood every album you have released I purchased. Some women listen for the raunchy lyrics that gets them amped up for a night on the town, some women listened to get them ready for a night of passionate sex. But if a true fan listens to your lyrics, they will hear a story behind every song, every lyric, every bar.
 Even though you don't know me from Eve, and you're my bestie in my head, if I am going through a certain problem all I have to do is play an album of yours and I swear you have a song for everything I am and have went through. All the way down to the legal problems I put myself in.
  A lot of people say I can't be a fan of Lil Kim and be a Christian at the same time. But who are they to judge? All I know is that despite your lyrics, outfits, and past transgressions you never cease to tell us how much you love the Lord and you never cease to thank God for every award, every album, every fan He has blessed you with. I love the cool, calm way you react to beef on wax and I just love the way you kept a smile on your face despite the fact you had to do time for a year for something you barely had anything to do with. I love your personality, your kind heart, and your sense of humor.
 When people had something to say about your cosmetic surgeries, I was like so what? Its your money, your life, and lets be real. Half of those people talking all that trash would get a tummy tuck if they had the money. Girl, keep doing you. Keep making your money. I have been a fan since I was twelve years old and I am now pushing thirty. I love you for life.

Love,

T.M

Delicious Reads

Mystic River. Now a motion picture, we all know the books are way better than the movie. This book had me on the edge of my seat. Three boys were friends until a tragic event happend on a lazy afternoon. Years later another tragic event brings these boys together. You won't be able to put the book down until the last page.

Cross. Our favorite detective Alex Cross is back to take on the very psychopath that murdered his beloved wife, Maria.

The Quickie. Homicide Detective Lauren Stillwell catches her husband in the midst of an affair. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. While embarking on a sultry affair of her own, she witnesses and unspeakable crime.

Single in the Summer? Don''t Be Mad

Facebook, which is the social network that hosts the most depressing statuses of single women all across the world, have been showcasing hot acid slinging arguments amongst couples. Again. Tagging the boyfriend's name, his side chick and cursing out all those who decide to put in their ad libs in the comment section. I don't understand why the girlfriend is even mad. If the dog decides to roam away from home, lock your door, throw away the key and do you. The weather is great, the nights are younger, out of towners are cuter, its time to do you. Which is what I have always done.
 I haven't been in a serious relationship in over four years but I have been in some..uh..Situations. Situations that are so tight that I have found myself confused when meeting a new potential and hurt when someone's feelings are not the same. But I have always bounced back especially when someone comes along that makes me forget about the last one. Am I saying to become a full fledge hot summer jump off? No. Though I don't practice premarital sex, I don't hate on the next single lady who is all about getting hers with no strings attached. However, I am against single ladies who get theirs with no strings attached and not protect themselves. But do you have to give it up to have fun in the sun? No. You can go out to a night club get your dance on and not go home with anyone. Is there a crime in smiling at the cute chocolate brother staring at you from across the cafe? Nope. Not only that but you can have multiple crushes on people and not feel bad.
 My PTSD and this little one pill a day doesn't stop my shine from living a regular life that I lived before I started the medication. A lot of women get self conscious with meeting new people because they feel as though they have to tell someone off the back that they have a mental illness, a physical illness...NOT. You're not marrying the guy, or planning to have children with him so don't let your illness stop you from having fun. If you are the chick that just want to get hers and not worry about the extra stuff just protect yourself from pregnancy and disease.

Music Raves: Azealia Banks, Lil Kim's Return of the Queen Tour, and Erykah Badu

Ok...Where do I began...Her fashion is horrible, her music is horrible, her hair is horrible, her sense of style is horrible, her attitude is horrible. Her album is titled...1991? I'm guessing that's the year this wannabe half-fish was born? Don't know..Don't care. I like to give everyone a chance by listening to their music and I did listen to her music. Its horrible...Next!

My Lady. Not only does she have a hot, girly, sexy, sassy tour bus and she rocks nothing but expensive designer, sexy clothes on stage. She is bringing the heat with a comeback tour that Nicki Minaj shaking in her synthetic green wig. Fans old and new are putting in requests for her to touch down in their city, and tickets are being sold out everywhere. Yall better stop sleeping on your Queen.

Erykah Badu collaborated with the group "The Flaming Lips" and released a controversial video that consisted of her being in the nude (sources are saying it is a body double) covered in gold glitter, blood, and um..lets just say bodily fluids. Fans, bloggers, and gossip columnists are in an uproar some even saying that Ms.Badu has lost her mind. In my opinion, Erykah has always been unique, creative, and goes over the top to get her point across. I watched the video and though I wasn't shocked I was a bit surprised by the blood and bodily fluids that were covering the naked body. I have always been a fan of Erykah Badu and I tell the truth. It was a little over the top.

Good Dreams: Is It My Meds?

As you'll know I have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder due to me being a survivor of child abuse. My PTSD consists of horrific nightmares, a bad phobia of the dark, flashbacks, and anxiety. The medicine that I am on, which is a little pill I take once a day early in the morning is what stabilizes it. Does it work? Yes. Like a charm. My flashbacks has decreased from three times a day to well, I haven't had one yet since I started taking my medication a month ago. I still can't sleep in the dark or be in dark places for a long time or I'll have an anxiety attack, but a night light helps me sleep at night. But what I really like is that my horrific nightmares have been replaced with good dreams. I am having dreams so good I don't even want to wake up. I try to force myself back to sleep so the dream could continue. One dream I was crying and praising God and I was so overwhelmed with happiness that I woke up with a gospel song in my head that I just thought of!!! Another dream I had was of a dark skinned man with dreads sitting on a chair singing in this angelic voice. The voice was so beautiful, the very next night I prayed for God to please give me the dream again. I believe my medication is whats helping me with getting rid of the horrific nightmares but I also believe  God is responsible for the wonderful dreams.
  I find myself thinking with a much clearer head and I can handle myself in much stressful situations. I pray a lot constantly throughout the day and night which builds my spiritual strength. Am I reliant on this medication? Not really. This medication helps me a lot along with the wonderful support system I have along with it. I no longer have insomnia and stay up half the night reading, looking at the ceiling, or browsing the web.  I feel much better in the morning and not so tired and irritable. I have my sleep back!! Praise GOD!!!

The Best To Ever Do It: My Sheroes

Danielle Steele. Still no one has beat her record for the many books she has had on NY Times Best Selling list at one time. The fact that she writes multiple books at one time makes her my shero. She is so beautiful, talented and oh so mysterious. Danielle is such an incredibly private person that she doesn't do book signings or interviews. Did I mention over half of her books were prime time movies??

Whitney Houston. Aka Nippy Aka "The Voice". This queen will forever reign in my heart as the true first lady of Pop. Everything she touched turned to gold and every project she has ever tried she mastered. Her songs "I look to you" and "I didn't know my own strength" got me through the recent tough times.

Sade. The true epitome of class, style and grace. Miss Adu has never been in tabloids, gossip blogs or had her name raked in mud. Her voice is like smooth, hot butter and her music gives me the flame I need to write.

Lil'Kim. This chick has got me through breakups, back stabbing friends, losses, and financial problems. She is the first chick to let me know to first handle my business then comes the miscellaneous stuff. Her lyrics taught me to hold my head up high no matter what the obstacles are.

Beverly Johnson. The first African American woman to grace the cover of "Vogue" magazine. Not to mention her own cosmetics line, wig line, weave line, and her daughter is a beautiful proud curvy model. Beverly showcases her wonderful personality on her new reality tv show which keeps it real on the trials and tribulations of mother/daughter relationships. She is also married to the very handsome, very talented David Bowie.

Michelle Obama. She's tall. She's beautiful. She's displays public affection towards her hubby and her children. She worksout. She eats healthy. She has arms that make's Angela Basset's look flabby. You guessed it. Our FLOTUS. Mrs.O is so bold and beautiful she admits to being a Beyonce stan.

Reasons To Say No: Stop Being A Welcome Mat

Yesterday, during my overpriced lunch of tuna fish, baked lays and a peanut butter chocolate chip vegan cookie I was reading the July issue of Cosmopolitan. Demi Lovato was on the cover looking radiant and although I think  Cosmopolitan does not put enough Sistas on the cover of their magazine, they do have some pretty good content. One of the guest columnist was a therapist who written an article on fifteen reasons for just saying the word "No" when someone asks you for a particular favor, a question, or invites you to an event that you normally wouldn't be caught dead in. I have never had a problem with saying the word "No".  There was a time when I used to put an expletive in front of the word "No", but I am no longer that bad girl. She is suppressed deep down inside me hopefully to never come out again.

 But I do know lots of people who have a problem with saying the word "No" and often find themselves in miserable situations, places where they are miserable, and around miserable people. But really makes me wince, is when people rack their brain to make up lies about why they can't do what someone asks of them. *Sigh* Why lie? Last time I checked you were an adult, these people were not your parents, don't pay your bills, don't even offer you a stick of gum, and barely calls you to see if your're alive unless they need you for something. So here are MY reasons for saying the word "No".

Babysitting. Ok, so a family member asked you to babysit one time, you had nothing else better to do but sit at home and fold your laundry. It wouldn't hurt to babysit your little cousin CeCe and play a game of "Candy Land" while her mother goes to Club Dream for Ladies' Night. But should it become a weekend ritual to the point where she is calling your phone TELLING you what time she's dropping little CeCe off on Friday and what time she will be picking her up on Sunday? I think not. If you're single with no children, then I know you definitely have plans you want to create or keep. Its time to put your foot down.

Outings With Co-workers. I have never been a fan of going out with my peers from my job. Especially with supervisors. When supervisors start talking all that mess about how they are so proud of the team and want to treat them out to a weekend outing, its a set up. If it is not on company lunch time, I would say "No." First of all I have heard and witnessed too many horror stories of Supervisors taking their employees to bars, happy hour, resorts, buying rounds of drinks until they get sloppy drink and start their confessionals, for them to be fired first thing Monday morning. Just Say No.

Facebook Invites. Some people just do not need to have your facebook. Especially people who love to gossip and take simple three word statuses and mold them into indirect insults that they assume are about them. Last time I checked, facebook was for old high school friends to reconnect not for matchmaking, Co-worker meet ups or to promote music. In other words if a Nosy Rosy or Gossip Goose or somebody who you just can't stand adds you on facebook, just say no. Or better yet click "Decline".

The Request For Your Phone Number. I see this happen too many times. I have even done it a few times just to get out of the situation. When a guy asks for my number, I would either give him the wrong one, lie and tell him I have a man, or just give it to him and just not answer the phone. Or the chick who talks my ear off who requests my phone number to talk my ear off some more. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings so I just give her the phone number and ignore her calls. Why waste the energy when you can just say no? First of all it is too time consuming to think of seven random digits to belt out to the guy. Second of all, it is too mind boggling to try to remember which phone number is the chick who is up to her elbows in drama and wants to dump it on you as if you're her therapist. Just say no.

Crashing On Your Couch. Not crashing on your couch for the night to sleep off the alcohol until morning. But the crashing on your couch until they find another apartment or a job rather. Been there. Done that. And I will never ever in my life do it again. First of all, everybody and their parents have crashed not just on my couch, but in my second bedroom of my bachelorette pad I had on the Peninsula. People were messy, late on their half of the rent, and when the shoe was on the other foot ask me if they lent me at least a chair to crash on? Yeah. Take my advice and say no.

These are just a few reasons to just say no, without giving reasons as to why you said no. You are your own woman. Let's hear you roar!!!!